I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
