He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
