New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
