I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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