I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
