U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
