you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
