Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize