I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Man, jail baloney is awful.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
