And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Is Oprah even human
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
