he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
