So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
Randomize
