My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Damn victory sex feels great
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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