garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Randomize
