Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Randomize
