winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Randomize
