New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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