Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
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And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
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It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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