get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
Randomize
