What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Randomize
