Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
