Umm I'm too high to move.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
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