I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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