I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
