you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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