just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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