I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Randomize
