Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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