too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
Randomize
