It's like God shit irony all over that family
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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