this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
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