If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
Let's get the cat blown out
Randomize
