glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
