Please don't use social media to get back at me.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
