Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
