yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I take back everything I said about communal showers
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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