Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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