Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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