You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Green mimosas i think yes
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
