I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Damn victory sex feels great
Randomize
