I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
