we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
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