Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
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Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
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And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I came so hard my ears popped.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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