You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
