he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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