see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
