Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
