She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I lost the right to judge tonight
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
