my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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