How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Randomize
