woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
