I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
