new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
