There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize