And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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