The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
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I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
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I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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