I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
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at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
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The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize