I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
