If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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