Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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