what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
