You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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