ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
