Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
