i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
