I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
